Planning for later life as a lesbian, gay man, bisexual or transgendered person
This web page provides information for older lesbians, gay men and bisexuals and those planning for later life, as well as people who wish to offer support.
It covers a range of social and financial issues affecting older lesbian, gay men and bisexuals, as well as the unique next of kin problems faced by those whose relationship are not recognised by law. Information is organised alphabetically by subject heading.
Table of Contents
Advice and support
The issues
There can be times when you need someone to talk to about being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender - whether for information, advice, support or simply a listening ear. There are many organisations throughout the UK that can help and most are just a phone call away.
What you can do
If there is a specific issue you would like to talk to someone about it might be useful first to look through this web page and the list of organisations at the end to see if a specialist group exists to help. Alternatively, almost all regions of the UK now have a local lesbian, gay and bisexual helpline. The London switchboard has a full and up to date national listing of helplines throughout the country and is an excellent place to start. You can contact them by phone or via their website:
London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, 24 hours a day on 020 7837 7324 or www.queery.org.uk.
If you have access to the Internet you can join Age Concern's 'Gay, lesbian & bisexual' Internet discussion forum, where you can ask questions, maybe help answer others' queries and join on-line discussions with other older lesbian, gay men and bisexuals. You will need to register in order to take part, but this is simple and full instructions are provided. Log on to the Internet address below:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual Internet discussion forum www.ageconcern.org.uk/discuss
Transgender issues
The issues
Though gender identity and sexual orientation need initially have nothing to do with one another, some post-operative transsexuals do identify as lesbian or gay, while others identify as straight. If you are a transsexual who identifies as lesbian or gay (trans-lesbian or trans-gay) much of the information and advice contained in this Information Sheet should be of relevance and interest to you.
Where organisations directly address issues faced by transgender people this is generally indicated in their title or description. However, not all organisations feel equipped to do so and will consequently have just 'lesbian, gay and bisexual', or LGB, in their title, though this rarely means they are unsympathetic to transgender issues.
If you are a transsexual who identifies as straight you may face other issues that are different, such as marriage rights in your new gender. As an older straight-, lesbian- or gay-identifying transsexual you may also experience difficulties with matters such as pensions, benefits and housing because of your legal status. However, in July 2003 the Government published a draft Gender Recognition Bill. This follows a ministerial statement in December 2002 which announced the Government's commitment to legislate to allow transsexual people who have taken decisive steps to live fully and permanently in the acquired gender to gain legal recognition in that gender.
What you can do
For more detailed information and help on all transgender issues the organisations listed below can offer specialist advice:
- FTM Network for female to male transgender and transsexual people www.ftm.org.uk/
- The Gender Trust - the UK charity helping with gender issues. Helpline 07000 790347 or www.gendertrust.org.uk/
- The Rubicon Society 24 hour support line 020 8252 2623 or 07989 747824
Partnership rights
The current situation
Same-sex partnerships are currently not recognised by UK law. As a result lesbians and gay men, and bisexuals who are in same-sex relationships, face discrimination, uncertainty and, at the very least, confusion in respect of:
- Bereavement and registration of death
- Inheritance
- 'Next of kin' status and incapacity
- Pension provision
- Tenancy
- Wills and intestacy (ie if you die without leaving a will)
The likelihood of confronting most of these issues is exacerbated as we age, but many couples may not be aware of the potential problems until it is too late, for example if a partner is denied access to their loved one's hospital bedside.
What you can do
It is important to be aware of your rights under current law and where possible undertake the necessary steps to protect yourself and your partner. To help, each of the issues listed above is explained in further detail throughout this Information Sheet under their respective headings.
Note: At the time of writing the Government is proposing setting up a 'Civil Partnership Registration scheme' through which same-sex couples in England and Wales would gain legal recognition for their relationships and acquire a package of rights and responsibilities. The proposed scheme would clearly have an important impact on the issues listed above and this Information Sheet will be amended and updated as necessary to take account of any new legislation.
Further information on the scheme can be obtained from:
DTI Publications Orderline 0870 1502 500 or www.womenandequalityunit.gov.uk
'Next of kin' status and incapacity
The current situation
The term 'next of kin' is widely used, but there is no statutory definition. In practice the general rule has been to recognise spouses and blood relatives as next of kin. Although the term is vague hospitals are frequently loath to give information to anyone other than those they regard as next of kin. There is nothing to stop same-sex partners describing themselves as next of kin, although this may not always be accepted.
In cases where a patient is unable to give consent healthcare professionals are obliged to treat a patient in accordance with his or her best interests. In reality they would undoubtedly discuss the position with partners or relatives, so establishing that you wish to be treated as next of kin is important.
In the worse case scenario a same-sex partner could be excluded from all major decisions about treatment and this certainly has happened. Similar situations can also arise in relation to financial decisions.
What you can do
A 'Living Will' (sometimes known as an 'Advance Directive') is a document in which you can appoint your partner or any other person as a Health Care Proxy, to take part in medical decisions on your behalf if you are incapable of doing so in person. It is still uncertain whether this appointment is legally enforceable but it is a useful guide to doctors and others.
Information on making a Living Will can be found in the following Age Concern Information Sheet:
Information Sheet LC5 'Living Wills - Advance Directives'
Age Concern also provides a useful form as part of this Information Sheet:
Information Sheet LC18 'Instructions for my next-of-kin and executors upon my death'
Additionally, a 'Power of Attorney' is a legal document which authorises one or more people to handle another person's financial affairs (including property, shares, money etc), either generally or in relation to specific items. An 'Enduring Power of Attorney' is a legal document which authorises one or more people to handle another person's financial affairs (including property, shares, money etc) and will continue even if the person no longer has mental capacity, provided the Enduring Power of Attorney is registered with the Public Guardianship Office.
Pension provision
The current situation
Occupational Pensions
In 1999 Stonewall, the national organisation that campaigns for legal equality and social justice for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals, negotiated a new definition of 'interdependence' with the Inland Revenue. This means that pension schemes can pay survivor benefits to an unmarried partner, whether of the same or opposite-sex, where there has been a relationship of financial interdependence.
As a result of this change many pension schemes in the private sector altered their policies to provide pensions for same-sex partners. In 2001 MPs voted to change their own pension scheme to recognise same-sex partners and in July 2002 PCS, the civil service union, negotiated a new scheme for all civil servants that provides benefits for same-sex partners.
However, with these exceptions, all other public sector schemes, including the health service, local government and teaching, only provide benefits for spouses. The Government now says it has no objection in principle to changing these schemes, but that they must be funded at no additional cost to the Treasury.
Personal Pension Schemes
Personal pension schemes are not under any legal obligation to extend survivor benefits to unmarried partners. However some schemes may recognise interdependence.
State Pension and Benefits
The current definition of a couple in social security legislation is 'a man and a woman living in a household as man and wife'. Same sex couples are therefore treated as two individuals for the purposes of social security. In monetary terms this can be advantageous as it can mean a greater level of income.
Transsexuals and Pensions
At the moment transsexuals can only qualify for a pension in their biological gender, therefore a male to female transsexual currently qualifies for a state pension at the age of 65. However, as a result of a ruling by the European Court of Human Rights in July 2002, it will become possible for transsexuals to qualify for pension rights in their adoptive gender. This will only be possible when a change to pension legislation has been approved by parliament. In addition, parliament has passed legislation to equalise state pension age at 65 for both men and women. This is to be phased in over 10 years starting in 2010.
What you can do
It is important to be aware of whether your occupational or personal pension scheme will pay survivor benefits to your partner. You can write to the administrator of an occupational pension scheme to ask about the policy of the fund's trustees towards same sex partners. There is, however, currently no remedial action you can take to counter the situation if your scheme does not provide such benefits.
Tenancy
The current situation
A lesbian, gay man or bisexual in a same-sex relationship now has the same rights as a spouse or cohabitee of the opposite sex to take over a deceased partner's tenancy. Previously, the Rent Act precluded the succession of samesex partners.
What you can do
This is still very new legislation so it is important you and your landlord are aware of your new rights. If you would like to find out more about these positive changes, Stonewall, the national organisation that campaigns for legal equality and social justice for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals, produces useful information under 'Housing' as part of its wide ranging 'Issue Bank':
Stonewall 020 7881 9440 or www.stonewall.org.uk
Caring for an ill or disable partner
The issues
If you are lesbian, gay or bisexual and caring for your partner some particular and often painful difficulties and problems can be encountered. For example, care and medical staff regularly make the assumption that a carer is a brother, sister or friend so there is the continual pressure and need to 'come out' as lesbian, gay or bisexual. Staff and residents of a care home may be homophobic, which can seriously affect the quality of a person's care. Following death, families of the person who has died often take over without consulting the surviving partner.
What you can do
If you would like to talk to a gay man or lesbian, the Gay and Lesbian Carers Network of the Alzheimer's Society offers a telephone helpline service staffed by gay men and lesbians. They can offer a listening ear to gay and lesbian carers of a person with dementia, and may also be able to offer information and advice on non-dementia related care issues:
Alzheimer's Society Gay and Lesbian Carers Network
For a male volunteer - 01843 220932 or 01273 628047 or 01865 847471
For a female volunteer - 020 8675 0660
www.alzheimers.org.uk/Gay_Carers
The following generic carer's organisations can also offer information and advice:
Carers UK is a membership organisation of carers and offers both a free telephone CarersLine 0808 100 1801 (Textphone: 0808 100 1675) and information website www.carersonline.org.uk
The Princess Royal Trust exists to make it easier for carers to cope by providing information, support and practical help through a network of 115 Carers Centres and a comprehensive website - 020 7480 7788 or www.carers.org
To prepare for your own and your partner's possible incapacity and eventual death you may wish to consider drawing up a 'Living Will' (sometimes known as an 'Advance Directive') with regard to medical, care and support decisions, and an 'Enduring Power of Attorney' with regard to financial affairs, as well as preparing a regular will. This is particularly important if there is a fear that others might step in and take over. The 'Next of kin' section of this page has further information on these two important issues.
Care Services at Home
The issues
Some older people experience times in their lives when they need services and support in order to remain living at home. Anyone may find the prospect of having strangers in their home somewhat daunting; if you are lesbian, gay or bisexual you may have additional concerns - that matters of great importance to your personality are respected, for example - as well as fears that service providers could be homophobic. Furthermore, you may be concerned to preserve confidentiality about person information.
What you can do
Most care services are provided by, or on behalf of, Social Services Departments of the Local Authority and/or Primary Care Trusts under the National Health Service. Information about services and eligibility criteria should be available from them. Before making any arrangements for services to be provided you can ask to see copies of documents such as the equal opportunities policy and confidentiality policy. If you are buying your own care services from a care agency, these are provided under care standards. There will be policies about confidentiality and if you are concerned that these have been broken you can complain to the National Care Standards Commission:
National Care Standards Commission Customer Services Unit national helpline 0191 233 3556 Mon - Fri 8:30 am - 5:30pm or www.carestandards.org.uk
Although there is currently no legal right to equal treatment, if you receive a service from a Social Services Department, an agency working under contract or a Primary Care Trust, the service should be covered by the Local Authority's or National Health Service's equal opportunities policy. Should the service fail to meet the standard, you may be able to challenge it using the relevant complaints procedure.
Housing and residential care
The issues
Safe and secure accomodation is a basic need and right to which everyone is entitled. Anyone facing decisions about, for examples, sheltered housing or residential care may already be considering a range of issues such as whether residents are free to see vistors when and where they wish, to choose what, when and where they eat and whether different diets are catered for. As an older lesbian, gay man or bisexual you may have additional concerns, in particular a need to know that staff, neighbours or other residents are not homophobic, and whether there is an atmosphere in which you feel you can 'be yourself' and be open about your sexuality if you wish.
When looking at financing residential care, it is also important to be aware of the local authority rule of 'disregard of property', which can sometimes be prejudiced against same-sex couples. 'Disregard of property' means that the value of your home is not taken into account when calculating how much you pay towards the cost of your residential care. The value of a home is always disregarded in the case of married couples where one partnter wishes to remain at home, which results in considerable financial savings. In the case of unmarried same-sex couples 'disregard of property' is at the discretion of each local authority, so older lesbians, gay men and bisexuals in long-term cohabiting relationships might end up paying more for their care.
What you can do
Though there are currently no examples in the UK of specialised housing or residential care for older lesbians, gay men or bisexuals, or indeed of regular accomodation that takes account of sexual orientation, a number of lesbian and gay organisations have begun to look into the housing needs of older people and some work is being undertaken with local authorities. In addition, there are steps all individuals can take to help themselves towards better and more informed choices.
Housing
Stonewall Housing provides a housing advice, information and advocacy service for lesbians and gay men of all ages:
Stonewall Housing 020 7359 5767 or stonewall@hostels.org.uk
Polari is a specialist organisation for older lesbians and gay men currently working at a strategic level in the three London borough of Hackney, Westminster and Kingston to improve housing, health, social care and community safety. While Polari does not have the staff resources to give detailed advice or casework support to individuals, it can signpost callers on to other appropriate organisations:
Polari 020 7422 8649 or polari@madasafish.com.
Residential Care
Finding a care home: first, you can directly ask managers of any home what their policy is towards lesbian, gay and bisexual residents. If raising the matter directly is something with which you feel uncomfortable, you could ask a range of other questions about how the home deals with different issues, such as are diverse cultural and religious practices included? How does the home accommodate personal relationship in general? Are residents encouraged to make suggestions about how the home is run? Is there a code of practice on privacy?
Paying for care: you will need to check on position of your local authority in respect of 'disregard of property' and you should complain if your authority refuses to disregard a property where a partner remains. Funding residential care is an important and complex matter generally and anyone considering such a move will find the following Age Concern Factsheets a useful starting point:
General
The Elderly Accomodation Counsel is a charity which maintains a nationwide database of all forms of accomodation for older people - sheltered housing for sale and rent, residential care homes and nuring homes. It also gives guidance, advice and detailed information to help enquires chosse the accomodation most suited to their needs:
Elderly Accomodation Counsel 020 7820 1343 or www.housingcare.org
There are other issues around housing, residential care and being lesbian, gay or bisexual - Caring for an ill or disabled partner, Inheritance and Tenancy rights - that are addressed elsewhere in this web page under those respective headings.
Wills and intestacy
The current situation
If a same-sex partner dies without leaving a will (ie she or he dies 'intestate') the surviving partner could lose any claim on their partner's estate. The laws of intestacy do not recognise unmarried partners, so your partner's estate would go to his or her parents or, if they are not living, their siblings; if there are no siblings, then remoter relatives.
What you can do
It is clearly very important for lesbian or gay partners, bisexual partners in same-sex relationships or indeed anyone who has specific wishes as to how their estate is divided on their death, to make a will. Detailed information can be found in the following Age Concern Factsheet:
Factsheet 7 'Making your will'
If there is no will or no provision has been made for a remaining partner the only other avenue is to make a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. To make a claim it is necessary to show that you have been 'maintained, either wholly or partly by the deceased'. It is important to be aware, however, that the scope of this provision is quite limited - where there has been an equal relationship in which both partners have contributed to their life together, it may not be possible to show dependence.
Bereavement and registration of death
The current situation
A death can be registered by: a relative of the person who has died; a person present at the death; the deceased's Executor or other Legal Representative; if there is no such person as listed above, any other person who has knowledge of the particulars to be registered (this does not, however, include the undertaker).
All deaths must be registered with a Register of Births, Deaths and Marriages within eight days of their occurrence. Unmarried partners are not, however, allowed to register their partner's death in their capacity as 'partner'. Unlike 'spouse' or 'relative' they are merely considered 'present at death'.
What you can do
There is currently no remedial action you can take with regard to your status if you register your partner's death. You can, however, find practical and supportive advice on arranging a funeral and other related information on the Age Concern website: http://www.ageconcern.org.uk/AgeConcern/information.htm.
Additionally, the helpline below offers sympathetic support and advice to anyone bereaved or preparing for bereavement by the death of a lesbian or gay man:
Lesbian and Gay Bereavement Project 020 7403 5969
Hate crime and abuse
The issues
Older lesbians and especially older gay and bisexual men, who may have lived much of their lives outside the law, have not always felt great confidence in the way they will be treated by the police. Mistrust and fear have led many lesbian and gay victims of crime, especially crimes related to their sexuality, not to go to the police for fear they themselves might be arrested or their details held on police records. There can even be a general feeling that nothing will be done about it.
However, criminal law is less and less about prosecuting gay men and more about protecting lesbians, gay men and bisexuals from abuse, violence and persecution. Many police forces are making themselves more aware of, and visible to, the lesbian, gay and bisexual communities through LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) liaison groups and positively encourage reporting of queer bashing and other homophobic hate crime in order to be able to combat it more effectively.
What you can do
Be aware that the police are there to protect you. If you are a victim of homophobic or any other hate crime such as hate mail, verbal abuse, domestic violence, harassment or any other form of abuse, contact your local police. Many forces now have LGBT Liaison Officers, Community Safety Units or other hate crime initiatives. Each force has its own services, but typically they include encouraging reporting, supporting victims, responses to violent incidents and community liaison.
Though hate crime laws are still not well developed in the UK it is still very important to use the term 'homophobic' when reporting such crimes - saying you are lesbian, gay or bisexual is not enough. Even if your local police do not have anything set up to deal specifically with homophobic hate crime, you are still entitled to report this type of crime with the expectation that it will be dealt with professionally.
The following organisation can provide further help and/or information about homophobic hate crime and abuse and what to do if you are a victim:
GALOP lesbian, gay and bisexual anti-violence charity helpline 020 7704 2040.
Alternatively, the following offers information and emotional support for anyone concerned about abuse of an older person occurring in any relationship where there is an expectation of trust:
Action on Elder Abuse freephone helpline 0808 808 8141
Inheritance
The current situation
Lack of partnership rights in inheritance means that lesbians and gay men, and bisexuals in same-sex relationships, often have to sell their own homes to pay the tax debt after their partner's death.
When a married partner dies, money and property that is transferred to the remaining partner is exempt from taxation. When a same-sex partner dies, anything the remaining partner inherits is liable to inheritance tax. There is a general exemption of £255,000, but anything over that amount is liable to inheritance tax at 40%. This can and does mean those gay men, lesbians and bisexuals often have to sell their own homes to pay the tax debt.
What you can do
It is important to be aware of the potential value of your own and your partner's inheritance and to take out appropriate life insurance. This could ensure a surviving partner is able to afford to continue to live in your joint home and pay the bills. Life insurance is a complex field and Age Concern recommends you seek independent financial advice.
Where to get further information
The following are mostly national organisations, but a number of local groups are included where they offer a unique or specialist service that makes them of relevance beyond their own locality.
- Action on Elder Abuse freephone helpline - information and emotional support for anyone concerned about abuse of an older person occurring in any relationship where there is an expectation of trust 0808 808 8141
- Al-Fatiha UK for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Muslims 07747 636 010 or alfatiha_london@hotmail.com
- Alzheimer's Society Gay and Lesbian Carers Network helplines - for a male volunteer 01843 220932 or 01273 628047 or 01865 847471 and for a female volunteer 020 8675 0660. www.alzheimers.org.uk/Gay_Carers
- Beit Klal Yisrael (London) alternative Jewish community 020 8960 5750
- Carers UK is a membership organisation of carers and offers both a free telephone CarersLine 0808 100 1801 (Textphone: 0808 100 1675) and informative website www.carersonline.org.uk
- Central Rainbow (Midlands) deaf gay and lesbian group 0121 478 0562 voice/fax or centralrainbow@tinyworld.co.uk
- Civil Partnership Registration scheme information - DTI Publications Orderline 0870 1502 500 or www.womenandequalityunit.gov.uk
- Deaf Gay UK - lesbian and gay deaf online community uk.msnusers.com/DeafGayUK
- DOST (London) group for gay and bisexual men from the South Asian and Middle Eastern communities 020 8741 1879
- Elderly Accommodation Counsel 020 7820 1343 or www.housingcare.org
- FFLAG - Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays 01454 852418 www.fflag.org.uk
- FTM Network for female to male transgender and transsexual people www.ftm.org.uk/
- GALOP lesbian, gay and bisexual anti-violence charity helpline 020 7704 2040
- The Gender Trust - the UK charity helping with gender issues. Helpline 07000 790347 or www.gendertrust.org.uk/
- Jewish Gay and Lesbian Group (London) 020 8952 0137 or www.jglg.org.uk
- Kiss (London) group for women who identify as lesbian or bisexual and are of South Asian, Middle Eastern or North African descent 020 8741 1879 or www.planetkiss.org.uk
- Lesbian and Gay Bereavement Project 020 7403 5969
- London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, 24 hours 020 7837 7324 or www.queery.org.uk
- National Care Standards Commission Customer Services Unit national helpline 0191 233 3556 Mon-Fri 8.30am - 5.30pm or www.carestandards.org.uk
- Outsiders is a club for people of all sexualities and ages who feel isolated because of any kind of disability www.outsiders.org.uk
- PACE lesbian and gay mental health and wellbeing 020 7700 1323 or www.pacehealth.org.uk
- Polari is a specialist organisation for older lesbians and gay men currently working at a strategic level in three London boroughs to improve housing, health, social care and community safety - 020 7422 8649 or infopolari@ madasafish.com
- The Princess Royal Trust exists to make it easier for carers to cope by providing information, support and practical help through a network of 115 Carers Centres and a comprehensive website - 020 7480 7788 or www.carers.org
- The Rubicon Society - transgender issues 24 hour support line 020 8252 2623 or 07989 747824
- Stonewall - the national organisation that campaigns for legal equality and social justice for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals 020 7881 9440 or www.stonewall.org.uk
- Stonewall Housing 020 7359 5767 or stonewall@hostels.org.uk
- Terrence Higgins Trust HIV & AIDS helpline 0845 1221 200 Mon-Fri 10am - 10pm, Sat & Sun 12 noon - 6pm or www.tht.org.uk
The source is credited to Age Concern England.
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